I had the opportunity to speak on the mini-stage at the TEDx Summit. The prompt was “what are the lessons worth sharing from either a success or failure from hosting a TEDx local event.” I thought this was intriguing; lessons from failures… that’s where all the juicy info lives. But I’ll admit it, I don’t like to a talk about when things go wrong.  But it’s a dis-service to this community to pretend that everything always goes according to our perfectly designed plans.

One of the biggest lessons I learned from my week in Qatar for the TEDxSummit, is to share the stories, especially when things don’t turn out exactly as planned. I talk about Sharing the Love Before You Need It. Basically how the people in my network saved the day, when I needed it most. You’re welcome to watch the 3 minute video (click on the photo above) or read the transcript below.

Here’s the full transcript from my 3 minute talk:

“Ojai’s had more attention in the last few days, more than it’s had ever.

So I want to share my story about Failure Gone Rights; and the idea we are spreading that I have is, Share the love before you need it. So I hosted the TEDxOjaiWomen in December 1, 2011 with Darina and I found out about 2 weeks prior to the event. So we were on super drive. I was announcing and promoting and tweeting and sharing and blogging before I had a venue, as soon we got the license I made the call.

I had a great women’s network and so they rallied and volunteered with me. We found a venue, we got a video crew, we got volunteers to do the lighting and the sound. It was this amazing miracle was automagically happening.

And I decided to host a dinner at my house the night before the event for all the speakers because we know it would be really nice if we had community and knew one another and saw how nervous each of us was because thought that would help make us less nervous as it was how universal that is.

And so I went to Facebook, I was writing a post and tagging everybody’s names on the community to see who was coming to the house. While I was on Facebook I noticed that the volunteer that had said they would bring the lighting canceled. That was all they were telling me the night before the event, that there’d be no lighting.

Our event was in a movie theater so there’s no natural lighting, there’s basically a dark room. So here I was trying to prepare dinner for 10 the night before an event which is a really bad idea you know, that’s not the idea we’re sharing. Hire a caterer, ordered pizza, do something because this is not an opportunity to share great culinary gifts in the world. Live and learn..

Thank you.

PS Save the Date: December 1, 2012 for the next TEDxOjaiWomen event. More details soon!

Do you ever get the Sunday night blues?

You know, that feeling of sadness or heaviness that happens sometime Sunday as you begin to think about the upcoming week.

It just feels different from a Friday afternoon, right?

What do you do about it, if anything?

Katara cultural center, with cityscape of Doha, Qatar in background.

The first thing I did when I saw the invitation to the TEDxSummit in Qatar was search Wikipedia for where in the world Qatar is located. When I saw it is in the Middle East, I looked for more info on their policy and treatment of women. I wondered, would I need to be covered from head to toe? Escorted? Protected? So many preconceived ideas about what that experience would be like. The most frightening part of it was my total ignorance of the region. My journey to Qatar started the moment I received my acceptance letter.

I started telling everyone who’d listen that I was going. I know people mean well, but going to the Middle East, is like telling people you’re pregnant. All the horror stories come out! You know the ones about 30 hours of being in labor, etc. etc. etc. Well, some people told me horror stories of what could happen to me as a woman traveling alone, if I showed too much skin, if I made eye-contact… I am very proud to report how progressive the country of Qatar is. As a western woman, I felt safe to walk alone, talk to locals in public including male taxi drivers and shop owners. I felt more than safe. I felt welcomed. I watched Arab men walk with their families at night pushing the baby strollers, feeding infants with bottles. I even made friends with a woman in her beautiful black bedazzled abaya while we waited for our flight. We were shivering in the night air, wishing we had more layers on… I love these desert women! I met another woman from Dubai who had a pair of Ugg boots in her bag, “Just in case it gets cold.” (You know, it the 70′s.)

Ayesha wrote "Jodi Womack" in Arabic

That was my favorite part of the TEDxSummit: meeting all the beautiful people with exotic names from far away places. Many times I asked if they’d say their name again, slowly… as the sounds were truly new to my ears. They all smiled. And one by one, sounded out the syllables. I learned that my name, “Jodi” means “pair” or “couple” in Hindi and “sapphire” in  Arabic (which I LOVE because that’s my birthstone).

So the miscommunications happen too. I sat in a workshop called, “Sponsorships in Small Towns.” The guy sitting next to me introduced himself and said “My city has 1 million people… but that’s small in China.” It’s funny, right? Words we use, assuming they mean the same things to others. How often do we do this in our own companies? With our families?

NIDYVI. Photo by Javier Yunes.

And another layer, is when there isn’t miscommunication but criticism… I was called “Yankee” (sounded more like ‘Jan key’ and not as a compliment) after a friend read my bio and called it BS.

Slam! Wow, harsh reality with a bit of sarcasm thrown in. It was just what I needed. It’s true… I couldn’t read my own bio, without squirming. So why did I keep it? Well, I thought that’s what it was supposed to be. I wanted to sound important. Making myself the hero. (Again, a Yankee trait.) But internally, I felt like a fraud. Time to re-write and get honest. That’s what real friends do… even if they’ve only known you 5 days… they call you on your self-important non-sense. And still like you anyway…

Thinking of you…

xoxo

PS The international or even, universal things that bring us together are food, dancing, laughing…

…All the best things translate beyond words.

I’m sitting in my hotel room in NYC, where it’s raining sideways, trying to convince myself that last week in the Qatar desert really happened. I’m so grateful for the pictures and the henna on my hand to show it wasn’t just a dream…

What an amazing experience to be in Doha, Qatar: the surreal, Las Vegas of the Middle East, all new and shiny and wealthy. This place is complicated…

I gathered with over 650 TEDx organizers from around the world for a week long conference focusing on creating fantastic TEDx events, building our global community of organizers and showcasing Ideas Worth Spreading.

I got to “walk my talk” last week.

• I introduced myself to strangers.
• I sat in the front row.
• I handed out hundreds of my business cards.
• I made notes on the business cards I received, so I will remember what we discussed.
• I did my homework on who the speakers were.
• I spoke on the Community 3-minute stage. (Hey, it’s still a TEDx stage!)

But I’ll tell you, that was just the beginning. All of that made the magic possible. I will be writing several blog posts about this trip-of-a-lifetime. There are lessons that are still percolating inside of me… As I look back on each step I took that brought me to another amazing story.

Photo: James Duncan Davidson

There is a flip side of hanging out with greatness, you know that too, right? It’s humbling. Intimidating. It’s easy to feel like the only kid at the party who doesn’t know anyone. My insecurities popped up. I felt uncertain than anything that I’m doing really makes a difference. I compared myself to others doing “real” work in the world… you know… feeding poor kids in Africa, building toilets for villages in India, cleaning up the slums and creating livable cities. This is big work!

But comparisons are dangerous because it’s self-sabotaging and destructive. We’re not competing against each other. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of that. When one person finds her strength, power and purpose, that act inspires others to do their part. To find their courage.

I share this vulnerable-side with you to let you know that it happens to us all. I held a pen and had to take 2 deep breaths before I could write my name on the list to speak on stage. My hand trembled. Later, Barbara from Canada said she had the courage to write her own name, after she saw mine. l watched people I admire be nervous before taking the stage. I met a young woman who set a daily goal with the help of a mentor, to shake 5 peoples’ hands and make eye contact while she said her name.

We each have our own journey and obstacles. This is big stuff, facing these self-doubting beliefs. Surround yourself with the best, most outrageous, fantastic supportive people you can find. You’ll be fantastic.

Networking is more than just showing up somewhere. Although, that is a BIG step.

For the upcoming Fierce Leadership Summit where I spoke last Sunday, I reached out to all of the other presenters (online) and introduced myself. I read their bios and sent LinkedIn requests. That helps me feel connected. I don’t know about you, but when I walk into a room when I think I know a bunch of people, it’s a different (ie a more comfortable) experience than when I walk into a room, alone.

Here are the 3 modes of how we network:

Nailah Blades & Jodi Womack

1. In Person

Like I said, just showing up is huge. I know it’s tempting to sit with friends but make an effort to meet someone new. This is a chance to practice talking about what your passionate about.

2. In Print

Once you connect with someone in person, how do you stay in touch? Be brave and ask for their card. I typically make notes on cards on what we discussed, if I offered to send them info or any other memorable tips that will help me remember them when I get back to my office. * Networking No-No: don’t subscribe every business card to your mailing list, unless you specifically asked them. Enough said, right? (this is SPAM, which is bad…)

3. On Line

What do you DO with those pockets full of business cards? Please… follow up! Whether you send an email or an invitation to connect on your preferred social media network (ie LinkedIn, Google+, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) Continue the conversation. Stay in touch. Introduce them to someone else in your network that may be in service to their work.

FYI: I attend many events where I don’t know anyone, and connecting online really helps me feel more relaxed and welcome when I get there. It’s really one of my favorite things to have someone come up to me and say “Hi! We’re friends on Facebook, and I follow you on Twitter.” Come on, that’s cool, right? Then to recognize someone from their profile picture or

From the 3 years of Women’s Business Socials I’ve hosted, I’ve learned that many people feel like they’re the only one that doesn’t know everyone. Trust me… you’re not the only one. You’re welcome into the group… and I’m glad you’re here…

xoxo,

 
PS If you attended the Fierce Leadership Summit, please make sure to connect and say hi!

Wow, what a crazy week at SouthBySouthWest (aka SXSW) conference in Austin, Texas. There’s more than 20 thousand bloggers, techies, geeks, authors, and newbies walking around learning, talking, networking and geeking out together for the last 4 days. And it’s really just the beginning.
Here’s my 5 quick insights from hanging out with this crowd at SXSW:

1. BE FRIENDLY: Smile, say hi, listen. (Yes, this is a SKILL, you can practice.) Go up to the speakers, shake their hand, say “Thank you.”

2. BE READY: have your business cards, make your shortcuts in your phone for what you’ll be typing/tweeting often. And when you forget something, FIX it FAST! Nobody’s perfect, but the really savvy business people have a backup plan and have built a team to make them look good.

3. BE FLEXIBLE: Rain, then Sun. Sitting in the lobby may be exactly where you need to be to meet the person you need to speak with next. Could be the market, coffeeshop, etc. How much time do you WASTE being upset, disappointed, complaining? Stop it! What can you do RIGHT  NOW to make something happen? Remedy it. Do some solution thinking. On that note, have a sense of humor. It helps.

4. STAY CONNECTED: Reach out via email, LinkedIn, Twitter… where ever you hang out. DO something with that big stack of business cards. Please! It’s not too late. Be genereous and help people remember how & where they met you. I make notes on the business cards as I meet people, so I have a CLUE what we talked about, what I promised or who I can connect them to.

5. KEEP LEARNING: Read! Ask questions. Ask for help. Tell your story. Tell it again with a new perspective. Keep practicing. Learn with your camera. Tweet great posts. Again, say “Thank you!” It goes a long way…

xoxo,

Eleanor Roosevelt

You’ve heard that old saying,

“Do one thing EVERY DAY that scares you.”
by Eleanor Roosevelt.

 
Well, I feel like I’m LIVING that quote!

I’ve lined up a number of speaking events this spring and JUST confirmed that I’ll be attending the April TEDxSummit in Doha, Qatar (which is next to Saudi Arabia and the Persian Gulf).

I talked about topic about leadership and doing what scares you most in my recent interview with Cheri Rutkus. You can listen in to the Networking Confidently on her Victory Circles program.

(If you haven’t checked out blogtalkradio yet, it’s an amazing site where you can download interviews.)

So anytime you hear that voice that says, “who do you think you are…” or some version of that well-meaning but negative influence, reach out to someone in your network or listen in on a program where people ARE making things happen. You deserve that level of support! Check out all the social network links at the top of this page, if you want to start building your support network.

Have a great long weekend, and stay in touch!

xoxo,

PS I’d like to say “Thank you, Thank you Very Much” in my best Elvis voice, to all of those people in Memphis who made Jason & my visit last week so outstanding. And a BIG THANK YOU to our host, Art Carden for his heartfelt hospitality and super-power ability to assemble fantastic crowds for us to speak with!

It’s been a WILD year so far.

I’m not big on New Years Resolutions, but I do respond to deadlines.

So at the end of the year I put some big items into motion for the business that I run with my husband, Jason: we hired a publicist, uploaded a brand new website, and moved to a new database for our client history & newsletters (can you tell?

I also said yes to a speaking opportunity about our TEDxOjaiWomen event and a Women’s Business Social in Memphis, Tennessee on Feb 9. (more on that soon!)

So in the spirit of the New Year, and all the newness going around, I encourage you to:

• LEARN something new on your current technology, whether that’s your phone, your database or some computer speedkeys.
  
• MEET someone new. When I look back at my big projects of last year, I realize I partnered with great people, asked a lot of questions, and received a ton of support.
• GROW into something new. You’re fabulous at what you do. Now it’s time to build on that. Be okay at starting fresh and as a beginner. You know you get bored fast, it’s time to take that risk and step up.

A girlfriend once told me, “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966

It made me laugh, and it made me think. I said to myself, “You will never be done with email. You will never be done with all the little things that need to be handled.” It’s possible to find liberation in that statement rather than misery…

We might as well get to the things that really matter to us.

I co-organized a TEDx conference 2 weeks ago, and I guarantee you that I didn’t have an open schedule with lots of free time on my hands prior to saying yes! I just knew that it was important and I wanted to make it happen. And somehow, all the other work that needed to happen, either got done, got rescheduled or really… (wait for it) wasn’t that important to start with.

I wish you the strength and courage to add in all of those things that affirm who you are.

“Procrastination is Expensive…”

I wrote that on Facebook and received a flood of comments. Everyone can relate.

Do you realize we’re just 61 days from New Years Eve? Yeah, time flies.

So here’s the thing. Start building what you want to be doing, now. Because if you’re anything like me, you WILL be busy! (Indefinitely.)

• Look at the next 2 months on your calendar
• Make an appointment with your business advisers
• Order the supplies you’ll need
• Put a placeholder in your calendar to get your stuff handled!

I’m speaking with Dyana Valentine  and a few others on the Women in Business panel at the Women Today conference on Friday, Nov 11 right before lunch. If you’re in or near Ventura (yes, that means you, Ojai women!) feel free to come join us. It should be fun, and I always love meeting my friends from online.

I’ve been looking out to January since August! My husband, Jason’s book, Your Best Just Got Better launches Jan 24 by Wiley publishing. So we’re building in things now to our schedule, so that everything’s in place come launch day.

Life is complicated, this doesn’t have to be. We’re smarter together…

Wishing you all the best,